Again, I’ve been slack…

Not sure what is happening in my life. My studies are still unorganised. At work, I can’t be so productive like I used to. I feel tired every day. I am not feeling excited with what I do. It is just like not who I am. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I want or what is really bothering my mind.

Changes… make me feel unhappy, and uncertain. Many things happened this past few months. Perhaps I just haven’t coped with it yet. However, the clock is ticking… I need to revive my self soon and find answers for what is really matters in my life.

Few update about my work

Opps I was gonna talk about what project that I am working on at the moment. Then I realize that I shouldn’t really said it since it supposed to be confidential. But it is Live**** what the heck… :P Okay, I just got a new project to be working on. It is an elegant photography publication. It contents has strong photos of political and humanist issues.

I am currently working on the postgrad fine art catalogue. It is a small job, it’s only 20 pages >_< ahhh I want more spread. Thankfully, the design doesn’t have to be boring, I can make it exciting… So it is a quite interesting job to do. Not to fancy, not to monotonous.

Tomorrow, I’ll have new briefing on new project but not sure whether I am going to do it. It is an exhibition of habitat and habitus publication. It supposed to be my friend job, I am just going to give him a hand :P

Wow, I thought I have more jobs to do, but it is not that much isn’t. Well, I still got few brochures for Australian education agent to do, but they are almost done… fiewww…

Gotta go, gotta have hainamnesse rice for dinner… I made it my self :P yummm…

My intimate lunch talk with my boss [part1]

Well, it started when we talked about our lunch meal, very general stuff. Then he asked me about how is my friend doing back in Jakarta. Hmm then, the topic is going away about how religion influenced to get a job. Still okay, and then he popped the question out from no where >_< leave me stunt.

MyBoss: so Dianne, where is your partner come from? Is he Australian guy or he is Indonesian.
Me: Whattt.. whattt >_< partner??? I don’t have any…
(sorry, I don’t really remember what happened at a moment)
MyBoss: ah…really, how old are you?
Me: I am not even 21 yet T_T (arrrghhh am I look that old… this is not the first time)

What makes him asked me that? Maybe because I am look old ahahaha… anyway, after few discussion, he gave me an advice “No matter what you do, you need to choose by your own. It doesn’t matter what people say or your parents. It is for you life. You can be married anytime you like or not like have partners.” Hmmm…I’ll keep that in mind, though it is still long way to go…

Logic VS Emotion

My entire plan for today is ruined. It is because how silly I am. I trusted my emotion rather than my logic. In my whole life, my logic is more dominant when it comes to give perception. Nevertheless, when it comes to control my life, my common sense just become very weak. Some people told me that I am overly sensitive. Honestly, I tried so hard to think straight but my feelings just conquer all my moved.

It does make my life so up side down. I am feeling very vulnerable as a woman. Especially, when you know it is wrong but your hearts just keep longing for it. I do want it stop, I want to control my self. I don’t want to end up in the wrong path especially if you already know that you are going to the lion den. No one wants to end up badly.

Hoorayyy... Horayyy...

Oh I should hold my self till tomorrow to write the blog. But why should I care. Anyway I am still so happy that I got 7.5 for overall my IELTS test, and surprisingly I got 7 for my writing. It is unbelievable >_< thanks god for everything.

I am currently at my workplace when I wrote this :D not a really a diligent employer. This month especially this week is pack with my friend’s birthday. Today is my best friend B’day. Henny, Happy B’day!!! Doughhhh… >_< I don’t think she know about this blog yet.

Anyway, today I am going to AGDA night talk, presenting Chris Moody. Huff, It is gonna be an interesting night. Sadly, I don’t have any company to go there and I have to take taxi as well. Hopefully, It will expand my networking :D. Okay, have to go back to work, I’ll write about the talk.

my current life...

Hey, back again... huff I have difficulties to find a good topics to write. Yeah, my life is not that exciting. My life is such a misery. I don’t even know what I want. Yup, this past few weeks I was having period of self-doubt and questioning. I am still not sure that I am good enough to finish honours. However, since I read the book ‘How to get PhD’ by Estelle M. Phillips and D. S. Pugh. It kinda guide me through those period. It seems that every people have the same problem in the beginning.

Well, one problem down and there are still others >_< The other thing, is about my life commitment. Currently, my status is single since I finally gave up my long distance relationship, more than half years ago. Still my ex is shadowing my life, although we don’t keep in contact that often. I just still care about him, but that doesn’t mean I am still in love with him. Anyway, recently…I found a friend that I just really love to hang around with, he makes me feel so happy. I realize that I always smiling to myself when I think about him. Yup, I keep thinking about him more often. Does it mean I am start fallin for him or I just happy to find a friend. It is a good signs though, means I have finally moved on! Unfortunately, he is not even single. There is no hope if I do like him. Jeez, why even my love’s life is so complicated.

Starting my honours degree…

Life is such a dilemma. I had my lecture about my honours program last Monday. It was not pretty much like a lecture. It was really a small group. There are only 3 people enrolled in the course (includes me) and one master student. My lecture, Richard Blundell mentioned that people who enrolled in honours are a really brilliant student 0_o! At least, they have to have GPA 6 point and above. Yup, I was laughing within my self… I could not believe that I was one of them. To tell you the truth my GPA was luckily pass 0.3 from the requirement :D

He kept telling us that how good we are and different from other graduates. I was really overwhelmed by it. Even though I was scared that I might not be able to create creative project. Next week, we have to have few questions for our dissertation. He suggests that it would be good if we have background about it or related to our great interest. But I don’t think I have any knowledge that I can link it to design. It is tough… life is tough

I hope I find one. However, I am open to any suggestion. It would definitely make my life easier.