Sunday, February 21, 2010

Tale of the past lovers: part 2

The unexpected is always happen in a glance of our eyes. I arranged a time to see another old fried of mine , well maybe he is someone more than a friend beneath my heart. It was him, a guy whom I've decided to better leave him alone. I was afraid to face my own feelings that time when things are getting closer between us. On the other hand, it was a beginning to meet my Mr. Turtle.

I was faced with a hard decision to decide between them. But that time it was clear, I really couldn't take somebody else bf, could I? It seems the right thing to do, even though my heart was very indecisive.

Yesterday night, he made a long overdue confession to me that he had fallen in love with me. He had trully like me. Even, he has secretly had a crush on me since the day we met. My heart bloomed for a slight seconds. Sadly, it has been five years late. He feels terribly sorry for not able to confess it sooner. I grasp lots of regrets in his voice. He kept saying it over and over again. Because of me he had putted aside his long distant relationship. I have had never realised any of it.

I couldn't bare to hear it much of it. Since early on, he has admitted that he has been engaged. It is hard to deny that we have both still keep some feelings for each other. But there is nothing that could be changed. I wouldn't wish for any of it to be undone. For what happened it has lead us into different path and gives us new experiences.

Spending last moment with him was just like last time we hang out together, nothing were changed. I founded very hard to depart with him, as we just rekindle something from the past. It was really hard to let his fingers slips away from the tips of my finger nails. I turned away and never look back.

He said life isn't a fairytale.

Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.

note: I think it was just hard to let go of him more just as friend. Since both of us just couldn't just hang out together in the future (since he'll be married) rumours spread so fast you know… (so unfortunate that I still live in this Asian Culture). The other thing was my parents seem to like him very much as a son in law (Sorry to dissapoint, but he is engaged… that what I said to my mom, after noticing her excitement seeing me going out with him) And seriously, if he did like me much… he should have stood up for me ages ago, no matter what! I guess he just not that into me. I like to think that way, I deserve a better man!!! and sorry, who is interested with having left overs anyway!

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