The unfortunate event…

It was a very sad day indeed. It is just a week ago when I lost my job. No one knew what was coming. It was still in the morning, I thought it will be a great Friday. I was gonna had a lunch date that day and gonna watch latin cabarett performance after work.

It's very rare I was being asked to join into a meeting apart not being schedulled. I was slightly curious when I head up into the meeting room. It was happening so fast… only few sentences rest into my memories. There was that word: 'redundant… today'. It was shocking!

könnte schlimmer sein, originally uploaded by i_hear_noises.

I thought I was facing it pretty tough. Even though, I ended up crying afterwards in small room. I was stressing out and shocked. Never thought, it will happen to me. I had mortgage! I felt a slight relief when I realise I still have redundancy package, but it wasn't much.

I went out the room when I was slightly calm down. But I broke down again, when I saw my work colleague was heavily in tears. She hugged me tightly, it was the saddest time for me. It's the saddest moment to realise that I will leave her.

It was a sad day, not because I lost my job but because I will miss the people — friends that I have made over the last two and half years.

Loosing job

I might being naive or cynical. I might even change my mind the next few weeks. But, I actually feels liberated when I lost my job. It was like a slap on my face for my long procastination. My career was the only thing that has been suffer. I think I have not work hard enough trying to achieve what I wanted. Surely, I had given everything while I worked at my old place. But I can't really see my self working there for the next 5 years will make a change for the better into my career. It's a job. (I bet you know what I mean).

Two and half year is long time. I don't regret working there. I've met fabulous people. I learned few things, not technically about design but more about life, passion and friendship. I really feel glad that I managed to use the most of it while I was working there.

Back when I had internship at uni, I worked too hard that I left behind my life. I was so grateful about my career but I've never yet satisfied. I felt there was something missing, since my life was just about working.

I believe God has plan in every step in our life. But everything is up to us, how to live it.

I am so glad that I have not waste anything. I had put up my courage and do dancing lesson after work. Isn't that such a coincidence that there's a dancing studio down the road I used to work (and I always wanted to learn salsa). How about when they sent that invites to the company to do free introductionary lesson. or even… when I met that boy in the bus, that turned out to be salsa dancer (used to be).

Anyway, I could ignore everything and not to do anything. But I took the courage to do something different with my life — making it richer. It's my life afterall!

Turning point

At this stage, I am feeling great and confident wherever I will go. That's an interesting question, Where I will go? I don't know, yet. But, one thing for sure, I really wanted to get my portfolio done perfectly. I've got all the time in the world.

I believe in my self that I am a passionate, young and talented designer. I looked through all the work that I've done. I am quite impressed. I reallize sometimes I judge my self little bit too much that becoming an obstacle to my self to grow.

It was great to see couple people from design studio. It was such a great feeling to see how to work in such a creative place and work together as a team. I miss working in environment like that. If I could choose — that where I wanted to be… being able to be creative everyday and surrounded by the creative, passionate people :)

The support

I will never forget all the kindness that everyone that given me. So many of them help me facing this difficult times making it easy. I received many present from my old colleagues. Miss Lizzie being the biggest helper, refferencing me to everyone she knows to get me a job. It was so hard for me to tell my parents about the bad news over the phone. An understanding from my parents is a big relief.

It's a funny thing that this happened to me just after what I wrote on my previous post. Did God actually read my blog? LOL. He seems trying to take challenge on me :) Well, I am a very very strong girl, now.