Arghhhhh…

I know it's kinda lame. But it illustrated my situation perfectly (LOL).

I need new ideas. When i'm being asked to design a new cover that I can do whatever (just use no photos and no purple) I really should say YEHAAA… but honestly, i am petrified. I haven't use my creative brain hard enough these days. It has took me a week and still nothing. I am really excited for being busy but why it took me so long to get ideas… sigh

My relationship with my-not-yet-bf (seriously, I feel akward saying this. But i can't find another words to describe it). I had a proper date with him on Sunday to the Art Gallery to see the American Impressionism and Realism. I was glad that he enjoy art as much as I do. It was a full day spending time with him. Not entirely pleasant since things doesn't go according to the plan but it was okay.

He brought up this conversation that I've been trying to avoid. He asked me why do I still like him since he hasn't been giving enough or being around. I was being honest and told him that I've been thinking to end of whatever we have. Since sometimes it really tires me and bring only pain. I've been wodering whether I'll be happier if he doesn't exist in my life. He gives me the chance to choose but it seems that he can't simply let me go either (but i know it will be easier for him to do). However, it is certain for the time being he won't be interested in having relationship due to his comittment and things that he wants to achieve. It sounds quite hurtful to know that he hasn't changed his mind yet (even though I already know). Yes, i did take my moment and silently let my tears pours in the darkness of the cinema.

Enough to said, I am okay. I've been down that road many times. It gives me a mental note that in the end of the day, you really need to dependable on your self. Others might be there for you but you shouldn't have that expectations. And have lots of friends so there's more chance you are not end up feeling lonely (sigh… and listen to your mom, most likely she's always right or you might end up learn on the hard way).

Sigh, I still can't decide whether I should live by my own and shared my house with other people or just move in with my sister again and stay far on the west, at Moggill. I need to get my driving license soon. Arghhh… So many things to think about and do.

I would really appreciate any kindly emotional support, leave a message people :)