Oh, Hello…

I've been feeling pretty much like that… I figured that I need to sleep earlier, but a week went by… still my bed time is always near midnight.

Work are surprisingly good. I mean… there are still lots of uncertainty but, I've learned so much this past few weeks. At least, it freshen up my creative side.

I will have a new housemate this Thursday. Hopefully, she will enjoy living in the house :)

And, long Easter weekend is coming! Better start the countdown! My cousin from Sydney is going down to Gold Coast!!! I am so looking forward spending time with them. But really unsure about where to go, she asked me to take her around Brisbane. I am seriously running out of ideas. All I can think about is GoMA, and food… food… (Art Gallery is their least interest T_T sigh… )

Any Ideas? Where are boys/girls going this Easter?

Mondayne update

Hello people! I've found a job and been working there for couple few weeks. Things are not exactly back to normal pace yet. I have to admit that I struggle to fit in with the new job. Although, lucky enough I work with very nice small team (which all about same age as me except my creative director). And… the studio located in one of the very expensive suburb in Brisbane, it's at Racecourse Road, Ascot (they even have their own website for their street -_-). It's a minute a way to the Portsidewharf. It's so unbelivable to see the lifestyle of people who lives around the area. The caffees seems always packed with the locals early in the morning. I see lots of nice houses too, even a real big one with lots of security camera and gates >_<

I am dying to try the local French Bakery, Le Bon Choix. I will post photos when I made it. Some handmade fudge shop has sucessful enough bribing us with free fudge samples. I was going to get some of them, then I just realised they actually gave us $40 worth of fudge for free!!! So it's actually $4.50 for each small piece 0_0 On second thought, I don't think I will afford to have them again T_T The lemon meringue was such a delight. Check their website to see their other delicious flavour, Btempted.

The downside is longer travel for me… sigh… The job it self, it's been a challenge and I do love it. It's definitely would be something that help me grow to be a better designer. I do find my self stressing out from time to time, just because I am worried to meet the deadlines or do a fab job on it.

Other highlight:
Visited LUSH store on the weekend, my friend was looking for a shampoo. But, I ended up getting my self a free sample :D it's named Curly Whurly, coconut based shampoo for dry hair. Has anyone ever using LUSH hair products?

Finally, I satisfied my craving for Frozen Yogurt this Sunday. I simply couldn't stop thinking about it after having the famous Sour Sally, back home at Jakarta. Their branding is awesomely great and it's business is actually 100% Indonesian owned. The CEO surprisingly is about the same age as mine. Sadly it has not been franchised outside Indonesia. What do you think?

Have you guys read Monocle issue 31? Brisbane city architectural was reviewied in 2 pages long article :D So now, I can proudly say to everyone that I live in that city (BrisVegas).

Love life… is definitely in draught :D not until recent incidents, that I have become a third person that nearly cancel someone wedding/marriage… sigh… Honestly, I sincerely don't care since I don't think I was the problem… I think they have something to talk about before taking more serious step. Relationship is one thing and Marriage is another thing. In my mind, I only miss that particular person… that in recent weeks, I don't even hear a word from him… sobs sobs sobs… Wherefore art thou?

Tale of the past lovers: part 2

The unexpected is always happen in a glance of our eyes. I arranged a time to see another old fried of mine , well maybe he is someone more than a friend beneath my heart. It was him, a guy whom I've decided to better leave him alone. I was afraid to face my own feelings that time when things are getting closer between us. On the other hand, it was a beginning to meet my Mr. Turtle.

I was faced with a hard decision to decide between them. But that time it was clear, I really couldn't take somebody else bf, could I? It seems the right thing to do, even though my heart was very indecisive.

Yesterday night, he made a long overdue confession to me that he had fallen in love with me. He had trully like me. Even, he has secretly had a crush on me since the day we met. My heart bloomed for a slight seconds. Sadly, it has been five years late. He feels terribly sorry for not able to confess it sooner. I grasp lots of regrets in his voice. He kept saying it over and over again. Because of me he had putted aside his long distant relationship. I have had never realised any of it.

I couldn't bare to hear it much of it. Since early on, he has admitted that he has been engaged. It is hard to deny that we have both still keep some feelings for each other. But there is nothing that could be changed. I wouldn't wish for any of it to be undone. For what happened it has lead us into different path and gives us new experiences.

Spending last moment with him was just like last time we hang out together, nothing were changed. I founded very hard to depart with him, as we just rekindle something from the past. It was really hard to let his fingers slips away from the tips of my finger nails. I turned away and never look back.

He said life isn't a fairytale.

Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.

note: I think it was just hard to let go of him more just as friend. Since both of us just couldn't just hang out together in the future (since he'll be married) rumours spread so fast you know… (so unfortunate that I still live in this Asian Culture). The other thing was my parents seem to like him very much as a son in law (Sorry to dissapoint, but he is engaged… that what I said to my mom, after noticing her excitement seeing me going out with him) And seriously, if he did like me much… he should have stood up for me ages ago, no matter what! I guess he just not that into me. I like to think that way, I deserve a better man!!! and sorry, who is interested with having left overs anyway!

Tale of the past lovers: part 1

Why does it feel so much pain after 5 years have been gone. It feels the break up just happened yesterday.

I wonder when is the burden will ever go.

update:
I was really glad that he forgives me in the few days after. There are no more secret to be kept. He was my first bf. For the mistake that I've done I admit I was foolish and young.

It's never too late to tell the truth. Everyone deserve the truth.

Diamonds are girls best friend

I was completely loosing my self today, when my dad brought me into diamond's shop, Frank & co jewelery. It's hard to say no to any kind of jewelery for a women. Even though, I am not big fan of wearing them.

I sat at the counter and they showed me some samples ... WOW, it's so bright and shiny 0_0 I was slightly blinded by it. In few seconds, I was enchanted by the beauty of it. In few minutes, I was having dilemma choosing between two different diamonds pendants >_<

Sigh, my plan entering the shop was just playing along, pretending that I want to get one. I realised I have completely fallen into my Dad's trap. Seriously, I don't need any diamonds!!! it's such an indulgence, it's so inappropriate wearing that nice thing on my neck T_T it's very pretttyyyyyyy though, very hard to resist.

In the shop, they even serve a free cuppa tea that I found very very delightful. I even asked what tea label that they served :p there was a slight nice tinted sweet taste into it. It turned out was Dilmah infused with Strawberry. (I am totally gonna buy heaps of them to bring them back to Aussie).

So in the end, I couldn't make the decision between two pendants >_< ooohh, I was actually running away and giving that excuse 'cos I don't need it. But please, by posting this I don't want to discourage any future bf of mine not to give one. In fact, I would cherish the gift. It will be a real precious thing when it's given from my love one (but I don't need one from my Dad, I love him though).

ps: For anyone who is going to visit Jakarta and planning to go to the big shopping centre. My suggestion is to make a visit to those diamonds jewelery shop for a nice free relaxing break. Just pretend you are going to buy an engagement ring or something. Any of those shops would definitely serve you a nice cuppa tea :)

Happy CNY and Valentine's Day!!! I am doing very well and enjoying my break at my hometown, Jakarta. (slightly nervous about meeting up special someone from the past though) Btw, should I take my Dad's generous offer?

Take your time: Olafur Eliasson

360 room for all colours (2002)

I felt very very lucky to be able to see the exhibition down at Sydney. The Museum of Contemporary Art (MCA), Sydney is the only Australian venue for the exhibition, generated by San Fransisco Museum of Modern Art. It was just happen that I was down at Sydney :D

Even though I like art, but I have not heard Olafur Eliasson before. I came to visit the MCA to see how the gallery since I applied for a position there. To be honest, I am trully fond of the exhibition. I think this is the first art exhibition that gives a really great sensation. It's hard to put it in words, but once you experience it you'll understand.

Olafur Eliasson is an artist born in Denmark who transforms our experiences of the space around us. Take your time: Olafur Eliasson takes the form of a visual journey, in which viewers move from ligh-lifted open spaces through immersive, built structures. Individual works find inspiration in the distinctive landscape, theories of colour and perception.



spoiler allert: if you are going to see the exhibition, you might not want to read this.
My favourites would be the Beauty (1993). You would have gone through this dark (pitch-black) tunnel that seems have no ends. You would become quite anxious wandering what will happen in the end of the tunnel or will the tunnel ever end. In the end of the tunnel, you would find your self inside in a dark room like a cave, you would see the Beauty comprises a thin veil of mist (water), illuminated obliquely by spotlights which produce a soft, hazy rainbow effect. The Beauty, it's such a perfect name, it was really beautiful and soothing. I wouldn't mind having the instalation if I have big contemporary house.


Sunset Kaleidoscope (2005)

The exhibition runs at MCA, Sydney ends in 10 April 2010, more information here. If you interested to come to exhibition, remember to take your time…

Once, I had a wish …

Free, as the wind upon the ocean,
free as a bird about to fly,
free, as a tiger in jungle, —
freedom, that's the universal cry —
but do we cry
for freedom without thinking —
like a child wants everything he sees —
do we know that freedom can be lonely …
do we really have the courage
to be free?
Free, as a gypsy in the winter,
free, as a bird without a sky,
free, as dolphin without water,
freedom —
that's the universal cry …

Excerpt from The Thoughts of Nanushka vol I – VI

Sometimes, be careful on what you wish for … but the best of it, be ready for it to come true and take the opportunity.

Wave and light via flickr. Please by his book, here.

Living in Paddington street, Sydney

Despite the fact that I am not a big fan living in Sydney, these past few days I am getting drawn into moving to the big city. Maybe, few of the reasons are practicably unreasonable. I always dream to live in this cute terraces house rather than living in brand new contemporary massive architectural house. I could really see my self living there with one small dog.

But seriously, I think it will always be a dream. The rent prices are around $1000 per week!!! T_T not in million years, until I grow old if I am still working as designer would could afford to live there. In fact, they just recently sold the house at 1.2 million >_<

Even, the salary of one of my dream job in Sydney doesn't even got a high pay check compare in Brisbane. What about the GLAM life of other people talk about living as a designer!!! I think it's a completely a myth! How could we satisfy our high taste and quality of live that designer love. Don't we (designer) need to surround our self with things that nice and inspiring :P



While the link still last, click here for more information about the house. Click here, to see my runner up of other nice house at Paddington street.

Clearly, I am very annoyed

So you know what the result is. Hmmmpphhh… my friend suggested me to waste the place. Now, I think it's freakin good idea. It's funny though… I only upset because I still haven't got any job yet. Not because I really like the studio. I thought it was IT. But, honestly… I really don't have emotional attachment… My heart didn't plumet as I expected it would. (I did baked 2 bread over my dissapointment!!!).

If we could rewind the past, for about 2.5 years ago when I just graduated from my honours degree. The same studio that I recently applied was looking for junior designer. It was a place to die for. But, I was late applying, the application had already closed. I had no chance knowing of the place… in back on my mind, I had regrets, knowing that I would have pretty good chance of getting the position. Maybe, I would had become a kickass designer rather than stucked at Wiley.

So now, I was given a second chance. The opportunity of knowing… as it turned out, it wasn't the place that I wanted to be. Sometimes, what you think is good, it's not necessarily good. Instead, what you think is bad, is not bad at all. Now, I know I was wrong, I don't have any regrets. (except I am right, that I would get the job :P I was the runner up over few hundreds applicant)

I know, I must be freakin mad. 'Cos I just need any job but why am I acting so picky!!! Let say, it's the only way to redeem my sanity and I wanted to belive there is a better job for me, the one that really worth of all what happened. Amen

Very amusing photograph by Angie Mckaig

Hello 2010!

I wish everyone will have a better year and much closer reaching in their dreams!

Surprisingly, I got a phone call today and told that I was shortlisted. Wohoo! I'll be on work trial tomorrow. I do hope things will turn for the best. It's gonna be hard, back to work after having holidays for too long and waking up late :P (I hope I will put my head right, darn it's late I have to go to sleep now).

warm hugs and kisses for the new and better year!

lovely warm kissed image (I wish I was the model in the photograph) via oh, hello friend

Cover design: You can’t take it with you

You might be wondering what sort of design have I been doing. Well, it wasn't entirely exciting, since I worked in publishing that specialise in academic text books and trades. But as a designer, you really need to take the opportunity to always have fun. Otherwise, everything is going to be dull and boring. Playing around is what we do as designer to keep our creative minds alive :P

Let me show you one of my favourite cover that I worked on. Although, in the end, it wasn’t quite the perfect cover I wanted to be. But hell yeah, I had fun and that’s what important: The process.

You can’t take it with you is a trade book about managing your wealth before you go to the better place. It provides advices on how to make a good will and etc. Above is my first concept. I like it how surreal it looks like. Everyone at the studio had a chuckled about this cover. The concept is about heaven and earth. The man with white suits, which reminds me of Morgan Freeman at Bruce Almighty movie. He is either being happy for what he have done or was looking back his life with regrets. I guess, you need to read the book if you wanted to be happy and RIP.

After reassessing the cover, I decided not to send through the first idea. So came up with the second one. This is relates about travelling. Mind you, this book is only for Australian market thus there’s some Australian icons incorporated in the cover. I thought this was pretty darn good and would hit the jackpot! But sadly, turned down by the publishing editor. They completely dislike the travel angle since it could be misleading as a travelling book. They got their points.

So back reworking the cover again. Received their suggestions, this is pretty much what they said “try to make it more simple like just pen and paper. Or look death in more metaphorical sense, perhaps a road leading into a white light”. Oh, how hard could it be (yes, it’s very common to receive a contradict comment. At this stage, they are desperate to get the right cover. They pretty much don’t know what they want). Luckily, I still had my patience and I was actually getting more excited. Hmm… a road leading into a white light… Aha! This is what I came up.

Remind you of something? It’s from Mr. Bean opening title. I really like it a lot, it’s brillant! Stronger than the original concept. I came up with more ideas, but they weren’t great. It was just showing what they’ve asked for.

But it wasn’t there yet. So I went to do more traditional approach, searching for stock photos. Then this came along. For the last draft, I only sent this one cover and they LOVE it! Even the author was so pleased. It wasn't the most exciting cover but it's an appropriate cover for what it meant for.

The rationale: Letting go ballons is certainly becoming a more common ritual at funerals. And there are plenty of other ties such as 'letting go'. It’s probably more common at younger people's funerals, but we are banking on the fact that most people don't think of themselves as old or near to dying. And a prime market for this book is definitely the 30s and 40s with young kids. Since Many of these parents probably haven't already done a will. (I am on mid 20's and I’ve already got my will and my self insured. Although, I just wish I had my income protection insurance as well, sigh…).

ps: this post had been on a draft for ages, since 10/02/09. I just haven't got the time to post the images yet. And, just incase it might cost me loosing my job :P But you know what?! I already HAVE!

So what do you think? Tell me your opinions? Should I put the whole process into my portfolio?

Be merry!

Something that I did last year for Wiley Christmas card. The birds are my regular visitors at my backyards. They're the one who cheer me up everyday at home (wake me up in the morning to be exact!!)

I'll be having family Christmas dinner!!! YAY food… food… food… I'll be in charge with salads ;) my expertise hehehe…

Hope everyone have the loveliest Christmas and holidays.

I'd like to get away from earth awhile and then come back to it and begin over

photo, originally uploaded by the cheshire smile.

I wish to understand God’s plan. I am wishing that all of this happened has a purpose. Good and bad is hard to judge depends on the way you see it. But at this stage, things are getting harder to keep positive and believe that things will be better.

I am currently at very down moment… that I wish to fade away…

I feel like I have given up my best. It seems I have given it all. Is it the moment to awake from the truth? The truth… that all things are meant to be, just the way it is. There is no greater things… or is there?

Help me to see where to go, or what to do. Help me to see the silver lining beyond this. And help me to accept things the way it is.

On my wish list: Food Safari

You know how much Brisbane has grown. I found another new spot for me to hang out!!! Just opposite Borders at Queens Street Mall, Dymocks open their store. It's pretty big. I found couples nice design book where I could comfortably skimming them :P (not like in folio where the store so intimate. the cashier just around the corner).

The first thing that I picked up was Food Safari by Maeve O'Meara. If you don't live in Australia, maybe you are not familiar with Food Safari. It a tv shows from SBS that takes you on a culinary globetrot across Australia. The producer and presenter is Maeve O'Meara. I've been collecting the DVD, it's now up to the third one. I was amazed because it's really covered the whole seasons from the show, packed up with the recipe.

I really like Food Safari. Well, I rely on their recipe quite a lot. It's very easy to follow, no gimmicky. All the cooking was just done from three-hat chefs to passionate home-cooks. I really don't know what to do if I lost all their recipes ahahhaha… My top list dishes was inspired from watching their show. Which I just cooked last night, Ikan bumbu bali!

Another that surprise me that given me hard time to put down the book was — it's beautifully design. You've seen lot's of cook book design, they're all pretty nice. But this one is extra nice. Hoefler & Jones typeface — Archer combined with Avenir strikes me. It could be using the new Sentinel but could be just normal Clarendon (it's too much luxury if they do). The way the photos were laid out covered with nice pretty patterns, is just lovely :)

I love the book! and its has Maeve O'Meara autograph!!!

Check out the book, here. You could dowload the sample pages as well. So you could see the design and the recipe :)

Inspiration words of the week

Be persistent! Don't ever loose hope.

I found this application called The Action Method which is a project management, productivity and task application quite handy. It help you organise all your projects, similar like BaseCamp. It's quite necessary tools if you are a freelancer. (I just realised it's not free as well T_T).

Image via Paper Jam Press, Brooklyn, NY.

What if…

Today, a slight councious came to my mind, what if I did not loose my job. What if my life were still the same. I don't have to go through with this phase. Although, honestly, I don't worry much at the moment. I know for sure, things we'll go better. But, I do make my close one, worry and felt sorry for me. I hate that feeling. And, I hate being poor — who don't?!!

If things will go as the way it used to. I think I would be able to say it's my great year ever! Before I lost my job, I felt really really happy. Everything was so transparent. I was so looking forward for my holiday to go back home or even planning a Christmas holiday trip with my friends. I had paid all my tickets. But, now, I am not even sure I will be able to go. I am dying to go back… even though it's too late, I won't be able to see my dog anymore. He passed away the day before I lost my job. I haven't even put the time to deal with it yet. But things happened one after another. It was a very tough week.

But, If I don't loose my jobs… I wouldn't be able to realise and appreciate my self — of how much I have grown as designer and a person. I have not been feeling nervous in any job interview that I've been so far. Because I know exactly what I am capable of and I am very very proud of it. I know and remember where I wanted to be.

If I don't loose my jobs… I wouldn't realise how important is friendship. I feel so lucky surrounded by nice people. I am being more open to them. As I am more forgivable to my self. I praise for every moment and little things that I have. I had the opportunity to know better and put more attention about people surround me. It's funny, how I've never realised that they actually needing help.

It's a realization. It's time to grow. It's a blessing.




In memory — superbly spoiled dog — 11 November 2009

Inspiration words of the week

TRUE, originally uploaded by sarah_gardner.

Morning everyone! Hope everyone had an awesome weekend. Mine was moderate. I had girls night in on Friday night. Nice catched up with friends over dinner and watched 'New in Town' and 'Confession of the shopaholic'. I must admit I totally dislike that shopaholic girl, she really really needs help. Practiced on Saturday with my Thai gf, followed by lunch in new Korean restaurant :P Went around shopping helping my friend finding a costume for her coming B'day. Visited an x rated store for the first time :P it was fun experience LOL. Lastly, I found $5 summer dress!!! can't resist that.

More job hunting this week. sigh… not much job on the market at the moment. An interview this Tuesday. Oh, I had interview last Friday on Advertising Agency, hope there will be good news :)

I've been listening to Lisa Mitchell — Neopolitan Dreams is my favourites.

Mondayne update

Second week of living without jobs:
hmmm… browsing internet all day (done)… having relaxing cup of lattee (done)… ironing (done)… washing dishes (done)… vaccumming the house (still on the list)… applying for jobs (just a click away -_-)… doing that porfolio (still on the list)… hmmm what should I do next… taking nap? hmmm… too hot.

Do you see the picture of how's my life is now :P

I know exactly how that bunny feels… hmmm let me rest here a little while… hmmm… it's rather nice.

via cute overload.

The unfortunate event…

It was a very sad day indeed. It is just a week ago when I lost my job. No one knew what was coming. It was still in the morning, I thought it will be a great Friday. I was gonna had a lunch date that day and gonna watch latin cabarett performance after work.

It's very rare I was being asked to join into a meeting apart not being schedulled. I was slightly curious when I head up into the meeting room. It was happening so fast… only few sentences rest into my memories. There was that word: 'redundant… today'. It was shocking!

könnte schlimmer sein, originally uploaded by i_hear_noises.

I thought I was facing it pretty tough. Even though, I ended up crying afterwards in small room. I was stressing out and shocked. Never thought, it will happen to me. I had mortgage! I felt a slight relief when I realise I still have redundancy package, but it wasn't much.

I went out the room when I was slightly calm down. But I broke down again, when I saw my work colleague was heavily in tears. She hugged me tightly, it was the saddest time for me. It's the saddest moment to realise that I will leave her.

It was a sad day, not because I lost my job but because I will miss the people — friends that I have made over the last two and half years.

Loosing job

I might being naive or cynical. I might even change my mind the next few weeks. But, I actually feels liberated when I lost my job. It was like a slap on my face for my long procastination. My career was the only thing that has been suffer. I think I have not work hard enough trying to achieve what I wanted. Surely, I had given everything while I worked at my old place. But I can't really see my self working there for the next 5 years will make a change for the better into my career. It's a job. (I bet you know what I mean).

Two and half year is long time. I don't regret working there. I've met fabulous people. I learned few things, not technically about design but more about life, passion and friendship. I really feel glad that I managed to use the most of it while I was working there.

Back when I had internship at uni, I worked too hard that I left behind my life. I was so grateful about my career but I've never yet satisfied. I felt there was something missing, since my life was just about working.

I believe God has plan in every step in our life. But everything is up to us, how to live it.

I am so glad that I have not waste anything. I had put up my courage and do dancing lesson after work. Isn't that such a coincidence that there's a dancing studio down the road I used to work (and I always wanted to learn salsa). How about when they sent that invites to the company to do free introductionary lesson. or even… when I met that boy in the bus, that turned out to be salsa dancer (used to be).

Anyway, I could ignore everything and not to do anything. But I took the courage to do something different with my life — making it richer. It's my life afterall!

Turning point

At this stage, I am feeling great and confident wherever I will go. That's an interesting question, Where I will go? I don't know, yet. But, one thing for sure, I really wanted to get my portfolio done perfectly. I've got all the time in the world.

I believe in my self that I am a passionate, young and talented designer. I looked through all the work that I've done. I am quite impressed. I reallize sometimes I judge my self little bit too much that becoming an obstacle to my self to grow.

It was great to see couple people from design studio. It was such a great feeling to see how to work in such a creative place and work together as a team. I miss working in environment like that. If I could choose — that where I wanted to be… being able to be creative everyday and surrounded by the creative, passionate people :)

The support

I will never forget all the kindness that everyone that given me. So many of them help me facing this difficult times making it easy. I received many present from my old colleagues. Miss Lizzie being the biggest helper, refferencing me to everyone she knows to get me a job. It was so hard for me to tell my parents about the bad news over the phone. An understanding from my parents is a big relief.

It's a funny thing that this happened to me just after what I wrote on my previous post. Did God actually read my blog? LOL. He seems trying to take challenge on me :) Well, I am a very very strong girl, now.

We feel fine

A very charming book by two digital whiz kids Sep Kamvar and Jonathan Harris use their computer programs to peer into the inner lives of millions, constructing a vast and deep portrait of our collective emotional landscape. It really hit my weak spot as a designer (and a women). I just can't stand the mesmerizing visual graphics. It's genius. See more inside the book, here.

Armed with custom software that scours the English-speaking world's new Internet blog posts every minute, hunting down the phrases "I feel" and "I am feeling," the authors have collected over 12 million feelings since 2005, amassing an ever-growing database of human emotion that adds more than 10,000 new feelings a day!!!

Know more about We feel fine: an almanac of human emotions here. Buy the book here.