Monday, March 10, 2008

I feel very unsettled

My mind gone blank for a split second when I realised I misread his words. I was honestly so worried when I heard that his sister gone to the hospital. Even in my medical history, I was taken to the hospital only once, it was quite critical but I have my parents with me. So when he said his sister collapsed and brought to the hospital, I was shocked.

It would never come to my mind, that he is coming back… to Brisbane. My heart was tremble, thrilled with this excitement. I wasn't so sure of what I should be excited about. We are not together anymore. My mind was obviously gone wild. It was really inappropriate to get excited. His sister got sick (I keep reminding it in my mind). Both of his parents got really worried and I'm sure he is too.

I felt so miserable to have this delight over this situation. But somehow, I really can't control my thoughts to see him again. I wasn't prepared to see him this soon. I felt that somehow we're destined to meet again (or not). My minds flew back to old memory, where we spent so much time together. Tears starts glistening from my eyes. I really don't know how to act. I am so scared… so scared… to face him again.

I miss him so badly… I want him back badly…

I needed to be stronger.


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